The Life Myth
The Life Myth, a construct from Jungian psychology and Processwork, can be seen as one’s overarching dream or song of life.
Though enduring, meaningful and often very potent, the Life Myth isn’t necessarily apparent to us. Like a night-time dream with its
mysterious symbols, the Life Myth needs translation and symbolic thinking to access its meaning. That said, connecting with our
Life Myth can be deeply helpful. It’s like finding a treasure map where the treasure is our deepest pattern or process.
Excerpts from my ebook, The Life Myth: Discovering, Following and Living It:
CHAPTER ONE: THE LIFE MYTH
So, in the most natural way, I took it upon myself to get to know “my” myth, and I regarded this as the task of tasks.
C. G. Jung
Many years ago, I had a therapy session with Arnold Mindell, the renowned therapist and founder of Processwork. I spoke about a recurring childhood dream while Mindell asked me about my associations with each of its parts. First, there was a scene of an athletic field with a dirge playing in the background. This reminded me of being in grade school and the excluded feeling I had when I was the last one chosen for team sports. Next was a segment featuring a dirty, empty city which brought to my mind times as a boy when I would walk the streets at night, alone and angry. Last, there was an excruciatingly clean city, also void of people, which seemed connected to a higher, light-filled realm.
Mindell offered that this dream may reflect knowing what it's like to be ostracized and having two main responses. I might have the "dirty" response of pain and rage, but I could also have the other response, the "clean" or transcendent one. In this conversation, Mindell suggested a central theme of life and how I might work with this feeling of the outsider. I experienced a basic pattern of my life come into conscious focus for the first time. This framing has been immensely and repeatedly helpful in giving me meaning and direction, even as I may struggle in moments with feeling marginal. I can remember, not always as much as I'd like, that I can feel the hurt and anger of being excluded, but I can also transcend this feeling. I can empower myself to see that though it may be my main problem, I can use these moments to go beyond my normal identity and connect to my deepest nature.
In contrast to the association of being untrue, one's myth—seen through the lenses of Jungian psychology and Processwork—may be understood as an overarching dream of life that is profound, enduring, and, therefore, true when considering one's existence. It seems, however, that our myths are not necessarily apparent to us. We know them in their parts reflected in a given moment but may nevertheless miss the overall picture and its meaning. At one point in his life, as the words of C.G. Jung above suggest, he realized the importance of the Life Myth; yet, he didn't know what it was but considered it his highest priority to discover.
We might wonder: how is it possible that the overarching dream of our lives, our Life Myth, may not be apparent even when we are otherwise aware individuals? One answer I have points to the average nighttime dream. Frequently, we experience our dreams as riddles with meaning that eludes us. In the morning, having recalled a night dream, we may understand some of the dream's implications, and yet the whole of its import often escapes us. Then our day takes hold and we move on, leaving a mystery behind us. This analogy suggests what may happen on a larger scale with our life dream when we understand some of its significance, yet its greater meaning remains unclear.
Characteristics of the Life Myth
Mindell's work with me highlights some of what can help us understand the main dream of our existence. First, our Life Myths may be encapsulated in our earliest childhood dreams and memories, as well as being present in other areas. Second, the Life Myth is encoded. Like a night dream with its mysterious elements and figures, the Life Myth needs translating so we can understand it. Third, our identities may limit our ability to detach ourselves enough to view the greater patterns of our lives. For example, my Korean Japanese American identity and often associated feeling of being a marginalized outsider with its associated pain made it difficult to see how this struggle may also be a meaningful part of my existence. For many of us, our deepest challenges are integral to who we are, and our greatness is often embedded in our most enduring processes. For better or worse, our Life Myths contain both of these elements.
Julia
Julia's earliest childhood memory involved running and attempting to pass through a narrow opening between two wooden posts in her backyard. She crashed into the posts and felt momentarily stuck there but also held. It was a profoundly upsetting moment for her as a child. Then, in her adult relationships, she would often hear from others how she was "addicted to being in control”; intimates would feel hemmed in by her. She also had asthma which frustrated her, particularly in her athletic pursuits, but she could sometimes feel that it held her like a "crushing reassurance." She found work as a customer service consultant and loved devising structures that improved the customer's experience. However, she also found that some employees felt constrained by some of her suggested measures while others felt comforted and held by them.
Life as a hologram
As we have seen in the above example, the Life Myth can be detected in many areas of life. Arguably, life is like a hologram, an optical storage device that reveals three-dimensional images when a laser beam is trained upon it. If you have a hologram of a cat and then break it, each of the broken pieces of that hologram will still contain the image of the animal, though with lesser resolution. Our lives may not be just randomly connected moments but rather ordered, with our basic patterns, including our Life Myths, appearing in disparate areas of our existences. The Life Myth can be seen in our earliest childhood dreams and memories, addictive tendencies, peak moments of life, relational patterns and disturbing relationship moments, and chronic or acute physical symptoms. These areas are common dreaming doorways, or areas of life where subjective and unintentional experiences occur, often in powerful, dream-like ways.
If we explore the material contained in the above dreaming doorways and cross-reference our findings, we can find themes that connect them. Like the parts of a nighttime dream, the elements contained in these dreaming doorways and how they relate to each other will not necessarily make sense to us rationally. However, they may yield their meaning if we study and relate to the symbology of these parts and through our subjective associations with them. But why does the Life Myth present itself symbolically? Why can't we just look at our lives, our relationships and work more straightforwardly to see our life pattern?
Life's underlying language might be symbolic and dream-like, but our perceptual tendencies can make this reality hard to see unless we are at least partly open to our dreams and dream-like reality.
One client from many years ago had recurring dreams of erupting volcanos. He also had occasional, severe “eruptions” of his own anger which created problems in his relationships. Furthermore, he often felt powerless and even passive with others. Upon exploration, he made an association between his own erupting anger and the recurring dreams of volcanos, but couldn’t find a way to make this helpful. Finally, he had a dream where the volcano wasn’t fully erupting but was emitting a steady stream of lava. When he felt what this steady lava stream was like, he had the realization that he too could emit a steady stream of his power and that smaller, more regular communication of his anger and dissatisfactions would be much better than his existing pattern: holding things in until he erupted. Of course, he had to face his own edges to expressing himself regularly and importantly, face his own power. But he gradually did and not only did his relationships improve, but he began to experience himself as a potent and creative person.
Our Life Myth may prominently feature beauty, or its central theme might be severe. If it is difficult and we can see the central challenge of our lives and recognize it not just as a problem but potentially a meaningful process, this in itself may bring relief and perspective. Furthermore, our greatest challenge may also be connected to our greatest solution. In the following chapters, I'll describe how we can look at various areas of dreaming to better grasp the main theme. But first, let me check in with you, the reader, to see if you have any questions.
Reader: Yes, you say that the Life Myth can be likened to one's main "dream" of life. What is a dream?
Bill: What a great and difficult question! For better or worse, and I think better, there seems to be incomplete consensus on what dreams are. Dreams have been essential to us as a way to deeply share about our individual and collective lives. Dreams often indicate wisdom beyond what the individual holds or knows. Throughout time, many people have relied on dreams for the guidance they offer. There is also plenty of anecdotal evidence that suggests that dreams can, at times, be predictive or express non-local phenomena. They also reflect the processes we're in, again, oftentimes beyond our everyday self's awareness. Does this help a bit?
Reader: Hmmm, kind of. It's a lot to consider and somewhat vague…
Bill: I was afraid of that. I would offer this: many of us want clear answers and definitions. In many situations, that can help. But, with dreaming, we may go deeper by becoming looser, less "clear," and dreamier! Dreams and dreaming, by definition, are non-consensual realities, and we can relate better to them on their terms, in their language. Here, a very relaxed and even fuzzy mind might be more helpful than an overly rational or logical mindset. For me, your question partly connects to a huge issue and tension in our world: how can we reconcile logic and wisdom, dreams and facts, modern and indigenous ways? Considering these issues, your question may not be completely answerable but needs deep and extensive dialogue and contemplation.
Reader: Well, I'm still a bit confused, but I also feel more ok with my confusion. I actually feel a bit fuzzy minded but excited. Like I may be on the brink of learning something new and vital.
Bill: That sounds good. Let's see how we can learn together. Thanks for your question!
CHAPTER TWO: EARLY CHILDHOOD DREAMS AND MEMORIES
Early childhood dreams and memories are symbolic snapshots of what will come. Our most overarching life patterns are suggested in these early moments when the seeds of these themes are germinating, young but showing their basic forms. C. G. Jung noted, "These early dreams in particular are of the utmost importance because they are dreamed out of the depth of the personality and, therefore, frequently represent an anticipation of the later destiny." Therefore, to begin to grasp our Life Myth, a potent place to start is with our first childhood dream or memory.
Often, regarding our Life Myths and what might be integrated, we see the process that's close by but don't identify with it. Instead, we are often bothered or excited by what seems other and remain separate from it. One of the biggest challenges in coming to grips with the Life Myth is taking what comes to us repeatedly, even disturbingly, and seeing how it may also be us and has meaning or potency.
Two central parts of our early childhood dreams and memories concern who we were then, and who or what was other, or far from this identity. Our identity in this moment and what we were experiencing relative to any other, or person or part that was "not me," may represent a lifelong dreaming or subjective pattern.
Personal identity is a structure that can significantly aid us in our lives. It can give us a sense of self and purpose. "I am Bill Say, a father, a Processworker," etc. But identity can also box us in and effectively separate us, at least partly, from crucial experiences and who we might become. Our Life Myths often include patterns and processes that we struggle to accept for these reasons. Particularly with emotionally charged or upsetting situations, it's difficult to remain impartial enough to notice, for example, how a troubling pattern may be more than just a problem but also part and parcel of our lives and their meaning.
Becoming more aware of our overall theme may require detachment from our usual identities to see the larger process. We might notice smaller and bigger selves. The smaller one is more connected to our everyday identity, while the bigger self may be more challenging to grasp as it contains not only the smaller one but also its friends and enemies. With our night dreams, we might see the self that runs from tigers and fights with demons as the small one and the bigger one as the encompassing self that contains the one who flees and the tiger or demon itself. With this possibility in mind, the Life Myth may be part of an inclusive force that takes us beyond our usual plans to experiences and directions that we can barely contain or imagine. So, while personal identity is a vital part of who we are, we may also benefit from loosening this identity, at least at times, to experience a larger self and process.
One of my favorite exercises is to bring to mind the place in the world where I feel best: the oceanside. Even imagining I'm there brings me a greater sense of spaciousness and perspective. Try it now if you like by imagining being at a nature place where you tend to feel well, or alternately, at the home of a dear friend or family member. Please take a few moments to notice the sights of the place, its sounds and smells, the quality or energy of the place, and how you feel even imagining yourself there. If you feel a bit more relaxed, warm, or happy, you might be connecting to a power spot that you can tap into for a sense of wellness or an expansion of yourself. You might also find that connecting to this spot over time increases your experience of a bigger self, one that can hold your smaller self, its experiences, and offer a broader perspective.
I began connecting to the energy of the ocean after spending time in Big Sur, California, and then later took a few minutes here and there to bring this coastal area and ocean to mind. Over time, I began experiencing a greater connection to something in me that seemed oceanic, vast, spacious, and worth returning to, like seeing a valued friend.