I'm prepping for a webinar on Diversity Awareness for Effective Non-profits and woke up last night in anxiety! Finally I had to sit up. Sit up and find my base of ... solidity, at least that is what I felt and later dreamt. It was only a dream fragment but I saw him, a young man, a person of color and buff with muscle! Wearing colorful clothing! Somehow, I knew that he is what I need to bring into my webinar. I'd been missing him in my teaching on diversity. I have been neutralizing myself, my background, and my deeper reasons for focusing upon diversity.
I haven't wanted to be an activist, that's for sure. I wanted to be more a facilitator of diversity. But don't I also have a position? Don't I have an agenda? Let me ask this "young man" and see what he says.
First, I notice that he feels like a bull. Interesting.That may be the "buff" part. And I see that he doesn't want to be held back or governed by conventions, fear of losing people, or criticism. More "bull" like qualities. And then a concerned part of me asks, "but won't I too one-sided?"
"Maybe, but this has already been one-sided. I've been silenced and out of your awareness. Plus, this isn't a time to be shy!"
"But doesn't that marginalize the shy one?" the concerned (and shy) one asks.
"Hmmm, I'm listening and feeling into that question... What I want to focus on is HOME and how we are or are not at home in the workplace, in our non-profit organizations, in our relationships, and in ourselves."
"But why do we need to be so bullish and forward?"
"Ah, yes. Why? Because of the critical part that shuts down almost any position you start to take on diversity. The part that says, 'you can't say that. It's too limiting.' That's why."
"Oh."
Home of some sort is what we may all need to feel well enough to serve the world. Home may also include a place for all of our inner parts, bulls, shy ones, critics, etc.
Home for all of us. And that I feel 'bullish' about.